SUMMARY

In a heartfelt podcast episode of "Soul Talk" hosted in Almaty, Kazakhstan, guest psychosomatologist Torebek Bekbaev shares spiritual insights on self-acceptance, family dynamics, women's roles, and trusting the Divine for personal growth and fulfillment.

STATEMENTS

• A woman must first accept herself as a creation of the Divine, recognizing Him as her true owner and guide through feelings, thoughts, situations, and people.
• All people and experiences serve as mirrors to help one discover their true self, leading to a deeper understanding of the Divine.
• Life is a journey of continuous self-inquiry with the question "Who am I?" as a lifelong pursuit, without the need to know the destination.
• Accepting the role of servant to the Divine means surrendering ownership, avoiding the imposition of personal conditions that lead to suffering.
• Imposing conditions on others causes irritation, offense, and suffering because those conditions inevitably get violated, and blaming others is a form of slander.
• One must seek knowledge and avoid premature conclusions or decisions, as assuming full knowledge leads to taking on undue responsibilities and pain.
• Violating spiritual laws by usurping the Divine's functions results in a distorted life, heavy burdens, and suffering, with lessons provided to correct this.
• Illnesses and destructive situations reflect one's inner non-acceptance of self, rooted in a lack of full self-love and low self-esteem often stemming from childhood.
• The adolescent period repeats the early childhood phase, offering a second chance to fill gaps in personality formation from ages 0 to 6.
• Children are teachers who demonstrate happy living; parents should learn from them rather than control or assign ownership, enjoying them as Divine gifts.
• In families with absent fathers, adolescent daughters rebel against sudden control, reflecting unmet needs for love and warmth from the first period.
• Conflicts between parents often manifest through outbursts on children; resolution requires honest communication of feelings without commands.
• The first role is to be a child, accepting that position fully before taking on roles like wife or mother, ensuring proper execution of subsequent roles.
• Marriages arranged without consent teach valuable lessons; those who experience it avoid repeating the mistake with their own children.
• All experiences, even negative ones, contain blessings; labeling them as bad stems from personal judgment rather than objective truth.
• Abusive partners mirror one's own unaccepted behaviors; recognizing this shifts focus from blame to self-reflection and acceptance.
• Each family situation is unique, with no universal formula, but core principles like self-acceptance apply universally.
• In rigid traditions, lack of communication leads to breakdowns; children and parents each bear responsibility for their actions.
• Curses or pleas to the Divine in desperation can lead to unintended consequences, but guilt can be processed through therapy.
• Parents' words and blessings are inherently beneficial for children; forced marriages highlight the need for dialogue and finding influence points.
• Women are not natural providers; when unmarried or widowed, they should pursue work as a hobby, not a burdensome duty, to maintain femininity.
• Taking on provider roles exhausts women, eroding their sense of womanhood; they must prioritize self-care and joyful living.
• Financial charity like zakat is obligatory only for those with surplus wealth (e.g., 85 grams of gold equivalent); the needy are exempt.
• Everyday acts like smiling, kind words, or removing obstacles count as sadaqah, providing spiritual fulfillment without financial strain.
• Giving from a place of need creates resistance and self-blame; true charity stems from abundance and trust in the Divine.
• Full living means accepting the Divine's plan without worry, embracing the journey as a traveler on His path.
• Envy arises from low self-worth; white envy is admiration, while black envy seeks to deprive others, both rooted in self-judgment.
• Social media comparisons fuel suffering; focus on one's unique Divine creation to avoid envy.
• Whispering or speaking in unknown languages around others is disrespectful and signals poor intentions.
• To marry, trust the Divine's timing, prepare oneself as a worthy spouse, and release fears or secondary benefits blocking readiness.
• Relationships thrive by expressing feelings directly and respectfully, without accusations, to avoid internal burdens.
• Close family members are profound teachers, triggering growth; address irritations by owning one's feelings and conditions.
• Children succeed when parents support without interference, learning from them to become better role models.
• A man's avoidance of family responsibility mirrors the woman's own evasion; she must fulfill her roles fully.
• Dreams manifest through faith and trust in the Divine; they arise with purpose to be realized.
• A departing husband indicates a lack of fulfilled wifely role; self-positioning as feminine attracts appropriate partnership.

IDEAS

• Self-identity begins with divine creation, turning life into a reflective journey where everything mirrors inner truths.
• Surrendering control to the Divine eliminates personal conditions that breed suffering, fostering peace through acceptance.
• Lifelong questioning of "Who am I?" propels growth without fixation on endpoints, embracing the path as sacred.
• Children as teachers invert traditional parenting, urging adults to learn joy and presence from their unburdened lives.
• Adolescent rebellion often replays unmet childhood needs, offering parents a chance to heal their own gaps.
• Honest expression of feelings, without commands, transforms family conflicts into opportunities for mutual understanding.
• Roles like child, wife, or mother build sequentially; mastering the child role ensures harmony in later ones.
• Forced experiences, like arranged marriages, serve as profound lessons, preventing repetition and promoting empathy.
• Perceived negatives hide blessings; reframing judgments reveals divine wisdom in every trial.
• Abusers reflect self-non-acceptance, shifting blame to insight and prompting personal transformation.
• Charity extends beyond money to daily kindnesses, making spiritual giving accessible and joyful.
• True giving expands the soul only when from abundance; forced generosity breeds guilt and resentment.
• Envy's roots in self-doubt highlight the danger of internal judgments over external comparisons.
• Social media illusions amplify insecurity; affirming divine uniqueness counters this digital trap.
• Whispering signals hidden intentions, eroding trust; open communication honors all present.
• Marriage preparation involves self-readiness, dissolving fears to align with divine provision.
• Expressing feelings respectfully unburdens the soul, turning relationships into vessels of relief.
• Family triggers are divine setups for growth, demanding ownership of reactions for evolution.
• Non-interference in children's paths cultivates their success through modeled happiness.
• Provider imbalances in families stem from role confusion; clarity restores natural dynamics.
• Dreams carry inherent potential, activated by unwavering faith in their divine origin.
• Feminine energy thrives in leisure, not labor; hobbies preserve joy amid necessities.
• Secondary benefits like fear of control block fulfillment; redefining them unlocks freedom.
• Hiding languages disrespects others, mirroring inner secrecy that stifles connection.
• Illnesses as tools teach acceptance, with every condition holding a purposeful lesson.
• Loss, like a child's death, prompts self-inquiry, revealing suffering as attachment rather than event.

INSIGHTS

• Embracing divine ownership dissolves ego-driven conditions, transforming suffering into serene acceptance of life's flow.
• Children mirror parental unresolved needs, making family dynamics a sacred classroom for collective healing.
• Lifelong self-inquiry as a servant role aligns actions with divine will, preventing the pitfalls of assumed authority.
• Non-acceptance manifests physically and relationally, underscoring that all pain traces back to self-rejection.
• Expressing feelings without blame fosters authentic bonds, turning potential conflicts into bridges of understanding.
• Charity from scarcity perpetuates inner voids; abundance mindset multiplies joy through effortless giving.
• Envy signals self-worth erosion, but redirecting to admiration cultivates gratitude for one's unique path.
• Social media's curated realities distort self-perception; grounding in divine creation restores inner peace.
• Role mastery begins with childlike surrender, ensuring harmonious progression through life's stages.
• Abusive reflections demand introspection, converting victimhood into empowered self-discovery.
• Dreams embody divine intent, thriving on trust rather than doubt-fueled blocks.
• Feminine vitality erodes under provider burdens; reclaiming leisure role invites natural support.
• Whispering's disrespect reveals hidden judgments, while openness builds communal harmony.
• Family triggers are growth catalysts, owned reactions propelling personal evolution.
• Non-interference empowers children, as parental happiness becomes their greatest inheritance.
• Losses illuminate attachment's illusions, freeing one to question and embrace divine timing.
• Faith activates manifestation, where surrendered effort aligns reality with soul's purpose.

QUOTES

• "Я раб - это он мой создатель."
• "Все люди мне помогают познать кто я. Они все меня отражают."
• "Главное идти просто не останавливаться в познании искать себя всегда задавать этот вопрос Кто я."
• "Никто меня не может обидеть. Только я сам мои условия обижают."
• "Болезнь - это моё отражение моё непринятие в корне любой болезни лежит непринятие себя."
• "Дети они учителя они пришли нас научить как жить счастливо."
• "Родители не кушай сладкое. Они говорят себе сами себе."
• "Улыбка - это Садака."
• "Не париться ни о чём здесь выходит один вопрос."
• "Отношения от слова относить. Нужно просто относить чувства."
• "Мечты не приходят просто так они приходят чтобы сбываться."
• "Всевышний никого не принуждает страдать."
• "Когда только даёт он начинает любить душа просто вот так расширяется."
• "Если я его называю абьюзером значит он меня отражает."
• "Живи и всё не задумываемся ни о чём."

HABITS

• Continuously question "Who am I?" to foster ongoing self-discovery and spiritual alignment.
• Express personal feelings honestly and respectfully without blame or commands in daily interactions.
• Engage in small acts of sadaqah like smiling, kind words, or helping others routinely.
• Avoid imposing conditions on family or others, surrendering control to the Divine daily.
• Pursue work or hobbies joyfully as a single parent, prioritizing self-care like spa visits when possible.
• Reflect on triggers from close family, owning reactions through self-inquiry each evening.
• Trust and pray to the Divine for guidance in roles like parenting, releasing worries before sleep.
• Provide simple supports like cold drinks to workers during hot weather as a family practice.
• Refrain from whispering or exclusive language in groups to build open, respectful communication.
• Prepare for marriage by focusing on personal readiness and dissolving fears through reflection.

FACTS

• Personality forms from birth to age 6, with adolescence (12-25) offering a second chance to address gaps.
• Zakat requires 2.5% of surplus wealth, applicable only after holding 85 grams of gold equivalent for a year.
• The Quran states religion involves no compulsion, emphasizing voluntary faith over force.
• Prophet Muhammad described a smile as sadaqah, equating small kindnesses to major charity.
• In some traditions, forced marriages lead to family breakdowns, as seen in rigid cultural enforcements.
• Childhood experiences, including perinatal periods, shape lifelong self-acceptance and health.
• UAE summers from May to October bring extreme heat, prompting communal cooling efforts like stocked fridges.
• Hadith recounts Maryam (Mary) giving birth under a palm tree, where divine aid came from minimal action.
• Soviet-era upbringing often suppressed innate spiritual purity, yet core soul truths persist.
• Adolescent changes repeat early development, explaining intense rebellions around unmet paternal love.

REFERENCES

• Quran: Referenced for principles like no compulsion in religion, all good from Divine and bad from self, blessings in trials.
• Hadith of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him): Smiles and kind words as sadaqah; story of Maryam under the palm tree.
• Torebek Bekbaev's prior podcast interviews: Discussions on men's provider role and women's relaxation.
• Soul Talk women's club: Platform for soulful conversations on self-improvement.
• Real Me initiative: Focus on authentic self through spiritual and psychological insights.
• Kazakh and Russian languages: Noted in communication contexts for inclusivity.
• Instagram: Source of envy through curated lifestyles, warned against for mental health.
• Afghan cultural traditions: Example of forced marriages leading to family tragedy.
• UAE life experiences: Stories of business, heat, and multicultural schools.
• Historical Soviet Union: Influence on suppressed spiritual awareness.

HOW TO APPLY

• Begin each day affirming your identity as a divine creation, surrendering control to avoid imposing conditions.
• When offended, identify your violated condition and apologize internally, then express feelings calmly to the mirror (person).
• Observe adolescent children's behaviors as reflections of your past; provide the love you once missed without directing.
• In family conflicts, sit with your spouse and share only your feelings, like "I feel anxious when plans change," without demands.
• For single mothers, select joyful hobbies over burdensome work; allocate time weekly for self-nourishment like walks.
• Practice sadaqah daily by smiling at strangers or removing small obstacles, tracking three acts in a journal.
• When envy arises from social media, pause scrolling and list three unique divine gifts in your life.
• Address whispering triggers by immediately voicing your discomfort: "I feel excluded when languages switch."
• Prepare for marriage by journaling fears, then reframe them as divine opportunities for growth.
• In loss or illness, ask "What lesson is this teaching?" repeatedly until clarity emerges, consulting a therapist if needed.
• Support children's success by mirroring happiness: Share joys without advice, celebrating their choices.
• For provider imbalances, step back from financial worries, focusing solely on your feminine roles like nurturing.
• Manifest dreams by voicing trust in divine timing during prayers, visualizing fulfillment without attachment.
• When changing appearance, question self-judgment: Affirm "I am as created" before any decision.
• Handle family triggers by owning irritations: Say "I feel irritated by this noise, forgive my reaction."

ONE-SENTENCE TAKEAWAY

Embrace divine ownership, express feelings freely, and trust life's mirrors for joyful self-discovery and fulfillment.

RECOMMENDATIONS

• Surrender personal conditions to the Divine to end self-inflicted suffering and embrace peace.
• View children as teachers, learning their joy to enhance your parenting without control.
• Express irritations through "I feel" statements to unburden emotions and strengthen bonds.
• Pursue charity from abundance only, starting with smiles to avoid resentment.
• Reframe envy as admiration, focusing on your divine uniqueness over comparisons.
• Prepare for marriage by dissolving fears, trusting the Divine's perfect timing.
• Maintain femininity through joyful hobbies, even as a provider, to attract harmony.
• Address whispers by voicing exclusion feelings, promoting inclusive communication.
• In losses, question lessons deeply to transform grief into growth.
• Support children's paths with non-interference, modeling happiness as their guide.
• Manifest dreams via unwavering faith, releasing blocks like secondary benefits.
• Own triggers from family as personal growth opportunities, apologizing for reactions.
• Avoid social media traps by affirming self-worth daily against illusions.
• In role imbalances, fulfill your duties fully to mirror desired changes in others.
• Seek therapy for guilt or trauma, integrating spiritual trust for healing.

MEMO

In the vibrant city of Almaty, Kazakhstan, the "Soul Talk" podcast welcomed psychosomatologist and coach Torebek Bekbaev for its inaugural episode, a soul-stirring dialogue aimed at empowering women through spiritual self-discovery. Hosted in the intimate setting of the Real Me women's club, Bekbaev, drawing from Islamic wisdom and psychological insight, urged listeners to begin with radical self-acceptance: recognizing oneself as a creation of the Divine, not an independent owner of life. This foundational shift, he explained, dissolves the ego's conditions that breed suffering, turning every interaction—be it with family or strangers—into a mirror reflecting inner truths.

Bekbaev delved into family dynamics, portraying children not as subjects to mold but as divine teachers illuminating paths to happiness. He highlighted how adolescent rebellions often replay unmet childhood needs, especially in homes with absent fathers, where daughters resist sudden control after years of emotional voids. Parents, he advised, should express feelings honestly without commands, transforming conflicts into healing conversations. In one poignant example, he described how parental clashes spill onto children, emphasizing that resolution lies in spousal dialogue rooted in vulnerability, not dominance.

The conversation turned to women's roles in a modern world, where financial pressures tempt many to abandon femininity for provider burdens. Bekbaev affirmed the natural order—men as providers, women as muses in repose—but acknowledged realities like single motherhood. He recommended pursuing work as joyful hobbies, not exhaustive duties, to preserve vitality and attract partnership. Stories from the UAE illustrated exhaustion's toll, yet also redemption through self-prowork and trust, echoing the hadith of Maryam's minimal action yielding divine aid.

Charity emerged as a soul-expanding practice, far beyond obligatory zakat for the affluent. Everyday sadaqah—smiles, kind words, or simple aids like cooling drinks for laborers in scorching heat—brings fulfillment without strain. Bekbaev cautioned against giving from scarcity, which fosters guilt; true joy arises from abundance and divine trust. He linked envy, often fueled by Instagram's illusions, to low self-worth, advocating admiration over resentment to reclaim inner peace.

Relationships, Bekbaev stressed, thrive on "relating"—expressing feelings respectfully to avoid emotional hoarding. Whispers or exclusive languages signal disrespect, mirroring hidden judgments; openness honors all. For marriage seekers, he prescribed self-preparation, dissolving fears like control aversion, which block divine matches. Dreams, he noted, arrive with purpose, manifesting through faith, not fixation on negatives that amplify blocks.

In addressing trials like abuse or loss, Bekbaev reframed them as purposeful tools: abusers reflect self-non-acceptance, child deaths prompt attachment inquiries. Illnesses teach lessons, with no condition beyond divine healing. He urged non-interference in children's paths, letting parental happiness guide their success. The episode closed with a universal call: love, serve, and "don't worry"—surrender to the Divine for a life of unburdened fullness.

Bekbaev's wisdom, blending spirituality and psychology, resonated deeply, reminding women that true flourishing stems from within, aligned with the Creator's design.